Cold Brew Coffee, What It Is & What It Is Not

July 13, 2019

Cold Brew... Why I Hate It.

If you want to get me ranting, just say to me how much you love cold brew. I dare you. 😜

For those of you unfamiliar with what cold brew is, it’s only the latest fad sweeping the coffee drinking nation. It seems like every day there is a coffee shop offering their interpretation of cold brew, or another company offering a bottled version for the grocery store shelves.

So Why Do I Hate It?

First of all, I’m a third wave coffee consumer, which means I prefer coffees that are prepared from fresh beans, ( ideally 3-14 days old from the roast date), and ground just prior to brewing.

Also as a third-waver, I’m supposed to like the taste of higher end coffees, which, if I use the stereotype, are coffees that have an acidity to them which makes them taste more in the wine and juice spectrum of flavours, as opposed to the cocoa and chocolate spectrum.

So when a third waver pushes a cold brew made with a toddy or slow drip method, here are my issues.

Cold Brew Issues

First of all, the taste of cold brew. Because it is an overnight extraction, or at least several hours of extraction, cold brew is then over extracted. In other words, it doesn’t taste fruity or juicy at all, it tastes dull and cocoa-like, like a cheap 1st or 2nd wave coffee.

Secondly, third-wavers often say they hate things like batch brewed filter coffee made with automatic drip brewers like Fetcos and Bunn because they aren’t made fresh for you like a V60 pour-over, or a Chemex.

Well.. how is cold brew made? In BIG BATCHES, brewed OVERNIGHT, and it isn’t fresh, and it is kept in your fridge usually in some Tupperware plastic juice jug for sometimes weeks.

So, i’m asking how any third wave consumer or coffee shop can look me in the eye and say they like cold brew.

Cold Coffee Done Right and Safely

If I want cold coffee, I use the Japanese method, where I brew with half the usual amount of water, i.e. If my brew ratio is 60 grams of coffee per litre of water, I will instead brew with 500 ml of water, into 500 grams of ice ( which is equal to 500 ml of water).

So the hot brewed double strength coffee will melt the ice, thus cooling down the drink which will dilute the coffee back to a regular concentration making it iced coffee.

But the 3rd wave purist would argue.. “BUT THAT DOESN”T MAKE IT COLD BREW”…. and I’m saying…. “you’re right.. but it is cold coffee that allows me to stay true to my third wave aesthetic without selling out to some fad that makes your coffee taste like refrigerated McDonalds coffee. Plus, the Japanese method is FRESH, and I don’t have to worry that some guy named Zachariah is sitting in the back of a coffee shop with a funnel, bottling me a bunch of botulism. Re:Death Wish Recall.

Plus, I’m not giving my customer coffee with double, sometimes, even quadruple the amount of caffeine, which, if it becomes the selling point of cold brew, means we are getting away from taste and the primary reason to drink coffee, versus medicating.

Also by pushing a drink that is brewed in batches more suited to typical big industry mass bottling, with a taste that represents how average run of the mill cheap coffee tastes, we are opening the door for big corporations like Starbucks, or even Coca Cola and Nestles to take over with their economies of scale.

So.. that’s why I hate cold brew.