Chapter 2 of COVID-19 Coffee Survival Guide

Wake Up And Get Coffee Fresh!

Now that you understand freshness as it pertains to coffee beans (3-14 days from its BIRTH DATE or Roast date, and only buy enough to last a week) . This will give us a good starting point because we finally have some quality ingredients. Some other questions you might have:

  • What country should I buy from?
  • What colour bean should I be searching for?
  • Is there a specific brand?

How to Choose the Right Coffee for your Home?

My tip for you is to buy coffee for taste that appeals to you, try to refrain from using cliche words like bold, smooth, dark or light. Unfortunately, these are marketing words, not taste descriptors, and offer limited assistance when trying to find a good cup of coffee. Think of it in a culinary sense. Could you order a beef steak “bold steak” or a “smooth steak”? No, that sounds ridiculous! Smooth is a texture, not a taste! ... Ordering a smooth steak is like saying you want a slippery cup of coffee! Essentially ask yourself if the coffee you are ordering passes the beef steak test?

Yet so called coffee connoisseurs toss these words around confidently like they mean something.

How NOT To Order Coffee

Just STOP using these vague words. And for god sakes, stop ordering your coffee by colour, country and brand. If you like dark roasts then you like the taste of charcoal, ash trays, and forest fires.. because that is what you are drinking. And don't even try to tell me those smell like coffee because the coffee I have in my cupboard does not smell like that.

Basically most people have been fooled into buying and drinking burnt, ashy coffee, which is largely why the people who don't drink coffee hate the flavour.

This is why I say you have been in the coffee matrix. You think you have been living this life as a sophisticated coffee consumer with your rich, smooth, dark roasts when in fact, you have been fed some sort of biofuel nutrient through your umbilical cord while you writhe in your tank of ooze plugged into the matrix. (There is no spoon).

So wake up .. Get up Keanu, and unplug those tubes! ... It's all fake.. WAKE UP KEANU... WAKE UP!   





Chapter 1: If you’re ready to make a change and freshen up your coffee game, consider making your coffee at home. To produce quality coffee at home, like the ones you normally find in the coffee shops, follow these 3 simple rules... Read More >

Chapter 2: Now that you understand freshness as it pertains to coffee beans (3-14 days from its BIRTH DATE or Roast date, and only buy enough to last a week) . This will give us a good starting point because we finally have some quality ingredients...Learn More >

Chapter 3: Ok.. you managed to escape the matrix and now that you have acquired the supplies needed to take on the coffee universe on your own, we are here to offer you some help!

4 Tools Needed to Brew Coffee At Home... Read More >

Chapter 4: If you have Italian friends, and they offer you a "caffe" , chances are they pull out a stove top device that unscrews in four parts, (base, top pouring chamber or pitcher, basket and basket cover) called a Moka Pot...Learn More >

Chapter 5: I have a personal problem with pour over people because they tend to hold the opinion that pour overs like Hario v60, Chemex, Kalita, are great, but that batch brew Drip Coffee Makers suck. The reality is...Read More >

Chapter 6: Let's explore further why the proponents of Cold Brew coffee are so maniacal in their support of this process. 4 reasons: ... Learn More >

Chapter 7: Frankly this viral hype surprises most of us in the industry but, in my opinion, it is a good thing that people are seeking innovation when it comes to coffee beverages. I just wish it didn’t involve instant coffee! ... Learn More >

Chapter 8: Prior to the cold brew fad, the go-to method of making a cold coffee was to utilize the alien👽 technology known as ice.

Apparently, when you add ice to things, they get colder...Learn More >

Chapter 9: If you survive this chapter, you will have my respect, and moreover, you will have learned about the basic principles of extraction...Learn More >

Chapter 10:We are revisiting a brewing device that was long ago dismissed as an alternative for espresso. Of course I'm talking about the Aeropress. Full admission. I was an anti Aeropress-er (not anymore). For those of you not familiar with the Aeropress way of making coffee it's a strange looking plastic device that looks like a giant syringe...Learn More >

Chapter 11: I'm going to tread into dangerous waters here and talk about one of the most controversial taboo subjects in the realm of 3rd and 4th wave coffee (aka pretentious coffee). What am I talking about? Blended drinks.. , AKA frappuccinos...Learn More >

Chapter 12:There is a false belief marketed that you need to spend a lot of money on specialized equipment in order to make good coffee and latte art. This insidious belief implies you need to...Learn More >

Chapter 13:The easiest way to avoid cream and sugar in your coffee is to buy higher quality coffee, you will taste that it is naturally sweet as opposed to the dark burnt, bitter stuff from chain stores, so try out a local independent coffee shop...Learn More >

Post Pandemic:Luckily, in the past the coffee industry has proven itself relatively recession-proof. Big question is, if it is pandemic proof ?...Learn More >

Chapter 2 of COVID-19 Coffee Survival Guide
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